Ep197: You-Shaped Feedback

How do you pick a mentor? What is necessary to being a good mentor? And do you still need a Sherpa if you have already summited the mountain?

Why is that important for business? 

Mentors or NA sponsors are something that successful people use to succeed in business and sobriety. But once you’ve “made it”, do you still need on? 

A mentor isn’t someone that gives you the answers. A good mentor or sponsor is there to help you avoid falling into your usual traps, and keep you focused on the line of thinking that got you to the summit in the first place. They need to know and understand you so they can help you evolve. There is a weight and gravity that comes with the title, and they need you to be able to not figure out if something is a good idea, but if it is a good idea for you. They need to know you well enough not to necessarily answer, but to help you re-orient you back to yourself. 

Once you are reoriented, you often know what the next thing is. And they need to be able to recognize what a valuable failure for you is, as well as invalid (or not good for you right now) success. Mentorship is getting them back to who they are so they can make whatever decision is right for them. Even if a mentor thought they had all the right answers for themself, they should be insightful enough to see that they don’t have all the answers for someone else. 

And this isn’t (just) about accountability. Sometimes, what people need is to be nudged into action, but sometimes what they need is to let their own processes unfold. There is an art to knowing the difference. Accountability is only valuable if it is action in the right direction. 

You need a mentor who gets who you are so their feedback is you-shaped. 

Other resources mentioned

Dismantling the Myth of the Self-Reliant CEO: https://www.fastcompany.com/3060235/dismantling-the-myth-of-the-self-reliant-ceo

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