It isn’t uncommon for teams to be stalled by interpersonal conflict, which seems like it might call for some serious Business Couples Counseling. But at the root of that conflict can be a more technical problem with an easier fix.
When the emotional meets the operational – that’s the topic of this episode of So Here’s My Story.
Why is that important for business?
Interpersonal conflicts – that bone on bone friction; the assigning of intent with assumptions instead of being curious – often bubbles to the surface more than simply dysfunction in dealing with personal disputes. Often, it points to operational issues that require attention. And it is often intensified when these individuals are combined into a team environment.
Conflicts arise more often than not because something needs to be defined; something is lacking structure. There is a special chaotic hell when you don’t have enough structure – it is what gives freedom.
There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. ‘How much do you love me?’ And, ‘Who’s in charge?’ Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief, and suffering”
— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
The key here is finding the right amount of guardrails that allow you to go fast without careening off of the cliff.
So often we separate the personal and the science (the operations and the structures) of business without realizing that they influence each other.
“Let’s move away from this ‘there is no I in team’, to ‘teams are made of nothing but I’s that just want to fit in’”.
When you shore up an operational flaw, it immediately relieves pressure on the interpersonal relationships in the team dynamic; it puts cartilage back in between the bones and reduces the friction.
Everyone’s decision matrix is invisible to everyone else. When you can make that invisible piece visible, it can help take care of the individual I’s that make up your team.
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